Personal Journal #15: I had the perfect title for this last night, but now I can’t think of it…


Last night was so completely deflating. I was so upset.  I thought I was doing good, but when you get on a scale you can’t escape the truth. I thought I was working hard enough, but the scale doesn’t lie. I felt so betrayed by my body. This up and down weight thing is getting on my last nerve.  When I got so upset, I started thinking, “Have I really been doing all I can?” The answer was no, and that made me feel even worse. Although I’ve been going to the gym, I think I still haven’t got the hang of eating right.  I over did it last night and ate two helpings of spaghetti and  two pieces of garlic bread. That isn’t what I should have done. I haven’t been sneaking food, but I have been going back for seconds. 

So although I don’t understand how I could have gained so much weight in one week, especially since I started to go to the gym, I can understand why I haven’t lost any too. I mean, I went from making and exceeding my goal, to getting almost back to where I was when I got back from FL. I’m not happy. I’m not expecting to lose it all at once.  I just want to see that gradual downward progression. A little at a time is fine.  And even a pound or two for water weight is ok, but I don’t want to balloon up nearly 7 pounds. 

Jason kept saying that he didn’t know what to tell me.  Well, I didn’t want him to tell me anything, I didn’t even know what I wanted to hear. Oh well, my toes are fixed now, and the bandages are off so I’m going to head to the gym. 

I have had one victory this week.  For the first time since I’ve been taking my blood sugar back in April, I have finally have had consistent and normal blood sugar readings.  Thank goodness… I guess going to the gym has helped at least something.

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About Lesley Reynolds

Wife, mom, professional... Pictures, gym, hiking, knitting, sewing, spinning, reading, movies, TV... Facebook, Blog and Twitter...

Posted on June 9, 2010, in Personal Journal and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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