Personal Journal #15: I had the perfect title for this last night, but now I can’t think of it…

Last night was so completely deflating. I was so upset.  I thought I was doing good, but when you get on a scale you can’t escape the truth. I thought I was working hard enough, but the scale doesn’t lie. I felt so betrayed by my body. This up and down weight thing is getting on my last nerve.  When I got so upset, I started thinking, “Have I really been doing all I can?” The answer was no, and that made me feel even worse. Although I’ve been going to the gym, I think I still haven’t got the hang of eating right.  I over did it last night and ate two helpings of spaghetti and  two pieces of garlic bread. That isn’t what I should have done. I haven’t been sneaking food, but I have been going back for seconds. 

So although I don’t understand how I could have gained so much weight in one week, especially since I started to go to the gym, I can understand why I haven’t lost any too. I mean, I went from making and exceeding my goal, to getting almost back to where I was when I got back from FL. I’m not happy. I’m not expecting to lose it all at once.  I just want to see that gradual downward progression. A little at a time is fine.  And even a pound or two for water weight is ok, but I don’t want to balloon up nearly 7 pounds. 

Jason kept saying that he didn’t know what to tell me.  Well, I didn’t want him to tell me anything, I didn’t even know what I wanted to hear. Oh well, my toes are fixed now, and the bandages are off so I’m going to head to the gym. 

I have had one victory this week.  For the first time since I’ve been taking my blood sugar back in April, I have finally have had consistent and normal blood sugar readings.  Thank goodness… I guess going to the gym has helped at least something.

About Lesley Reynolds

Wife, mom, professional... Pictures, gym, hiking, knitting, sewing, spinning, reading, movies, TV... Facebook, Blog and Twitter...

Posted on June 9, 2010, in Personal Journal and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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